Little Talks
by Zara.05
Summary: You softly smile at me, hiding your pain with another mask. "I miss our little talks." A backstory of Andrew and Patricia. I'll leave to you to wonder which is who. [Start: 14/05/2019] [Finished: 15/05/2019] (I published this on Wattpad. Ignore the date)
1. Introduction

This is a small story I wrote that inspired by the song 'Little Talks' by Of Monsters And Men. Some meaning behind the lyrics might be incorrect as this is my own perspective of the lyrics mixed with others that I found will be fitting.

I am deeply sorry for my grammar mistakes. English is my second language and I hope you'll forgive me for my errors.

Warning:

There are sensitive things mention inside. I advise you to don't read the final part if you're sensitive as it contains suicide mentions, cutting hands and mental health. Please be safe and take care of yourself.

Other than that,I hope you'll enjoy my short one chapter story 'Little Talks'.


	2. Little Talks

[I remember..]

The odd silence unnerved me all the time. It hurts, yes, it hurts my head and my heart. I don't like it at all. With every steps I took to get around, these floorboards creaked. Sounded so old and so empty.

How empty and barren for me to remember it all, everything would numb and I slowly drowned from the void of life around me.

Before I realised it, you held my hand and comforted me with your sweet words. Walking with me to keep me company so I would be distracted from everything.

And sometimes, I would be grateful for that.

[I remember..]

When night came by, when we were about to rest. The creaking of the stairs alerted me. It's unbearable to hear the odd creaking sounds as time ticks to day. I complained to you next morning with tears streaming down for I am afraid of it.

You smiled and comforted me, saying it's just the old and empty house telling me to close my eyes to sleep. There's no reason for me to be afraid since you're here with me and I trusted you.

[I remember..]

I screamed in anger as I threw my dress away from me. I cannot stand my own body for I'm limited on moving. I took my frustrations out with another scream piercing the silence. How useless was I to not know how to dress myself.

You frowned in sadness and your heart broke on watching me losing my temper. You told me sadly that I'm vulnerable like an almost broken glass.

Though the memories may vary to tell our story where we'll grow up and ending up where we would be safe together and belong there, forever.

[I remember..]

I tried to voice out my problems to you but that old voice in my head, it's holding me back from saying anything. The voice sounds like me. The younger me, talking to you so happily. Those conversations of you and me, those strange memories we had together. They replayed again and again in between sleep. Like a forgotten memory that I never remember.

You sighed sadly and looked at me softly with a small smile, but I know that mask is hiding your pain.

"Well, tell her that I miss our little talks."

I became confused but I never questioned you. Seeing your sadden face behind a comforting mask is enough to hold back my curiousity. I don't like you being hurt.

Because soon all would be over and buried with our past. What's left is the story of you and me that I will sadly forget.

You closed your eyes,

"Don't you remember when we play outside when we were young. Full of life and full of love as if we were meant to be each other?"

I never questioned you because both of us know the truth. Those silence moments is our understanding of each other. While the other suffer and the other dead.

[I remember..]

Some days where I had doubts of us if I'm right to remain in your life. The doubts where I'm not insane on imagining you. The doubts that I'm not the reason for your frustration each seconds that looks like a routine in your daily life.

You never answered but just continue to smile while you comforted me during each of my sudden episodes. You smiled without a reason but I know behind your smile is a meaning only both of us would understand.

"Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear."

Yet, those dried tears on your face will forever haunt me as we're slowly getting closer to accepting the truths.

Every memories replay again and again without myself realising. I'm right here waiting for the day we would be safe together at last.

"I remember..?"

"Don't listen to a word I say!"

I stand there unmoving. I feel nothing at all.

"The screams from both of us, they all sound the same!"

Words begin to drown out by the other. Each overlaps that sounds like whispers and screams to distract me, to drown me as I try my best to figure it out.

I tried so hard. I just can't do it.

Those tears that long shed,

The shattering of glass.

The empty shelf that once have it now gone. I look down to see the broken picture of us.

I never question your frustration, your stress towards my oblivion to my sickness because I'm useless to even help you.

I'm useless to help you smile again.

I would forget everything and the day will restart again. The cycle will continue and I will feel empty and so lonely in our once lively forgotten home.

But whose fault was it to break the other? Was anyone really at fault to break the bonds?

Am I hurting more than you?

Who exactly is hurting?

I sat down, mind blank while my hands numbly clutching the broken picture of us two together when we first form our long-lasting bond now broken.

Unforgivable as it may seem, but what can I do?

Was it my fault to get the sickness I learn to be a curse for both of us?

Was it my fault to break our bonds?

Was it my fault I forget to keep track?

Soon, I would forget everything.

I would forget us.

I would forget home.

I would forget you.

I would forget the sirens and the people that escort me away from your unmoving body.

"..Right?"

I knew you're not there.

The rope around your neck,

Your struggle as you clawed the rope to get it off,

The choking sounds of regret

Your bleeding wrist from your own cuts.

They dried but left marks that remind you of your struggles.

Your last words from your letter that told me that I'll be alright without you.

Your last words that told me to not be sad.

Is it a joke for you to do that?

I knew you were only a lie.

You were already gone long ago. So why would I bother? Why would I still imagine you by my side, helping me with my sickness, pretending that nothing had every happen.

Was it really you?

Was it really just you there talking?

Was anyone even there in the first place?

I knew my reasons. I knew why I would continue to imagine. I just never understand it. I just couldn't accept my own reality of you being gone.

Was it my fault you're gone?

Was it really?!

Why won't you answer?

We're torn apart by death and there's nothing we can do to fix it back. You've gone to the place of safety and love while I remain here wating for my time, not accepting the fact that I'm alone and afraid.

"So let me go, we'll meet again soon."

The beeping of the heart monitor brings me back to my painful reality.

Everything begin to slowly numb and I feel the day will restart again with me here waiting again.

So I want to tell you to wait. Wait for me up there. Just wait for a little longer.

...I'll see you again when I fall asleep...


End file.
